Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
