I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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