Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
