But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
