quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
