the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
