god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
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He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
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I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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