She's JV to your varsity
so that wasnt chicken after all
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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