tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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