is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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