ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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