well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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