are you still at the devil's house?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
