Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
