walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
