Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
