Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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