oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize