thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize