Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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