what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
