Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
