upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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