I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
