More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
