Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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