My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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