Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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