it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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