I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
