just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
