maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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