I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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