true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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