We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
