I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
PANTIES FOUND
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
