I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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