Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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