i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
