i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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