why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
