I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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