If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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