Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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