I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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