Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
