party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
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i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
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SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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