you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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