I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
