Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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