so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
only if we run a train.
done.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
