I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
