ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
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FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
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He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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