so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
3pm strippers are depressing
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
