He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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