After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Randomize
