when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
