Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I smell like Dick and happiness
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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