shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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