he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
