I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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