Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
