I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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