have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
