My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
