I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
