I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
